Free to Dance with Elephants


Churches who dance around the feelings of people who are easily upset are run by people who are easily upset.

Grace ends the need to pretend. Grace says, “I accept you. Now let’s move forward.” Jesus was full of grace and confronted hard issues at the same time. He accepted Peter and also looked him in the eye and called him the devil.

Being easily upset is a manipulators way of controlling others. Dancing around drama queens/kings plays into their strategy.

You can tell when drama runs your church when people are afraid to bring up certain “taboo” topics. People say things like, “I don’t want to bring that up because it might upset Betty or Bob.” This means Betty and Bob are the cap on the church.

Pastors use drama as much as others. They get indignant, for example, when they are confronted. In the end they are saying, “I’m above being corrected. I’m right.”

Any pastor who can’t be confronted is the lid on the Church.

Grace frees us from dancing around elephants. Taboo topics can be addressed when:

  1. We’re all in this together.
  2. We’re committed to do what’s best for others.
  3. We acknowledge our own frailties.
  4. Candor is exercised with kindness.
  5. The focus remains more on the future than the past. Bringing up the past only adds to drama. Grace frees us from the past and makes a future possible.
  6. The mission of spreading the gospel is bigger than individuals.

Grace frees us from drama, hidden agendas, and easily hurt feelings. Grace frees us to dance with elephants.

Explore posts in the same categories: Christian Living, Freedom, Grace, Leadership

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2 Comments on “Free to Dance with Elephants”

  1. Marc Says:

    When church becomes a social network of respectable like-minded people, rather than being solely focused on making disciples of Christ and teaching them, the church has lost its purpose, and the elephants take over. When the object of our adoration is Christ, then as the song says, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace”. The secret to avoiding church conflict is to practice true worship, like Isaiah 6, seeing God for who He is, repenting of our own sin, and seeking only to serve Him. This requires a true changing of the mind (Romans 12:1,2) and perseverance (Hebrews 12:1,2). Conflicted churches are those who look inwardly, much like depressed people. Thriving churches are those with Christ’s mission, looking outwardly.

  2. Sunita Says:

    This is really really good stuff (coming from a drama queen). I was in a church for a long time where you w were not free to speak your mind and conformity to whoever was leading the ministry sty the time was key to survival. It was a nightmare i never want to repeat

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