Pastor’s confession

My heart hurts for believers grappling with sin, frailty, and failure. I am one of them. I think we all wish there was a magic pill or secret formula that makes all the bad stuff go away. If I could just click my heels three times maybe I could get home? To make matters worse, some Christians wrongly believe that overcoming sin is the norm. The “over comers” give me this not so subtle message that there is something wrong with me if I haven’t overcome deception, lusting, coveting, greed, anger, worry, hate, selfishness, vengeance, stealing, slander, gossip, bitterness, guile, pride, jealousy, dissention, envy, etc. etc. etc. … on and on … gag me with a spoon. And those aren’t the “worst” sins.

What’s worse is, I do not love God with all my heart, soul, and mind. Sometimes I don’t even think about Him. And I definitely do not, I repeat, do not love my neighbor like I love myself. That’s just too much to ask. “Who is my neighbor anyway?” Oh, and don’t forget this little gem, “do everything without grumbling.” Are you kidding? Grumbling is one of life’s compensations.  Oh no, when I typed, “Are you kidding,” I think it was grumbling. Ka-ching on the sin-o-meter!!

Don’t misunderstand the intent of this post. I’m not suggesting we just give into the dark side. But I am getting something off my chest. I’m exposing the dirty little secret that’s frequently swept under the carpet. Sinning is a problem that doesn’t have a magic solution. It keeps coming back like a bad rash. Overcoming sin in my life feels like trying to catch a herd of greased pigs. Eventually catching and corralling one doesn’t help much because the rest of the herd stands around jeering at me. And to make matters worse, while I’m trying to coral the next greased oinker, the one I just caught gets away … again!

Spending time obsessing about my sins, failures, and frailties is a serious bummer and an expression of my sinfulness. Frankly, I’ve got something much better to think about.  So I’m turning toward grace and learning to walk by faith again today. Damn the pigs, I’m moving on.

Grace Freak

Dan Rockwell

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